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Posted by on Feb 18, 2015 in Funny Poems | 0 comments

Poem: Electricity Bored

When I was training as a primary teacher, I had to increase my knowledge of Science. I got so confused over Electricity that I wrote this to help myself to learn it all. I never did figure it out!

 

When I started learning science, I admit I placed reliance

On my memory of stuff I learned in school

When we got to Electricity, I thought it was simplicity

Itself; but now I know I was a fool

 

I’ve made notes in all my lectures, but they mostly are conjectures

And there’s no potential difference in my brain

‘Cos I find this circuit training to be really rather draining

So I’ll have to try to work it out again…

 

Well, I know current is an I, though I can’t remember why

But Intensity may have some vague connection

And current’s measured up in amps when it’s passing through the lamps

Though I never seem to know in which direction!

 

One amp is one coulomb per second – well, that’s what my tutor reckoned

And each negative electron’s just a speck

So when one amp of current’s live, that means that 6.25

x 1 million million million pass each sec.

 

The volts (p.d.) across a cell are a way that you can tell

How much energy’s available for use

I’ve a meter in my circuit, but I don’t know how to work it

And by now my cells have all run out of juice.

 

Resistance (ohms) is futile, surely, though I understand it poorly

Why did Science seem so easy in my teens?

‘Volts are Current times Resistance,’ I repeat with great persistence

But I must confess I don’t know what it means!

 

The cell converts the energy to make it electricity

Using chemicals; then sends it down the line

But when the energy is used (this is where I get confused)

then for power in watts, count joules over time

 

One joule per second is a watt, so that’s really simple – NOT!

One volt divided by one amp becomes one ohm…

I have no energy (in joules) to remember all these rules

So I might as well give up and go back home!

Emily Lock is a freelance writer and blogger about the ups and downs of trying to evolve towards a better life.

Her Emily the Dodo blog  has ideas to inspire you to make those changes, quizzes to help you decide what you want and planners so you can figure out how you’re going to get it, along with life hacks to make it easier. Come and join Emily on the journey to a happy life.

 

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